Tuesday, June 02, 2009

How Do Parents Make These Choices...



The more I stay home with Sabrina the more I find it difficult to go back to work fulltime. I keep thinking about her at some "baby mill" and yes they might take good care of her and give her lots of attention, but I still think it's different. I would not mind so much if she was 2 or 3 or 6, HA. but now, when she is becoming more active and knowing us better and interacting with us more and more everyday. I just have a hard time thinking, We are going to drop her off somewhere at like 6am, then not see her again till 4 pm and of course she'll eat sleep and eat sleep so we will not see much of her except on the weekends. Me No LIKE! I love working, love my job and really do not want to quit, working from home is great, but I can tell they are starting to want me back, I get a message everyday, "hey, can you come in to work any day this week?" Umm NO we discussed this, unless you want me to bring my 6 week old daughter in. DUH. Well all the ladies would like it. She seems to be a Mother and Mother to be pleaser. Tough choices, we want that extra income so we can do things, get her college fund started, hopefully get her savings back in order, (yes she had a savings that pretty much ALL went towards her adoption, we'll get it back up within the year). I know Bobby has a hard time because I have mostly been with her and it's funny we go back and forth about who she likes most (like she really is at that stage yet, well I don't believe she is, I could be wrong.) I see him with her and she seems so calm and happy, and I sometimes think she's upset with me all the time. But I think as parents we see when they are upset, not happy, which she is pretty much a happy baby, she laughs SO MUCH now. It's so Awesome being a Parent. It's that dream I ALWAYS wanted and now, yes I want a second, LIKE NOW, not in a year, or months from now RIGHT NOW. I would be so happy if we had a second by this time next year. No later than October. We will see how it goes, Bobby is still Not 100 Percent on board with that plan and i want him to be happy. If there is a way to make this day care transition easier someone let me know, I don't think Prozac or Zoloft is the answer for me. G....