The cooking punishment!

OK, this is what I CALLED the Friggen CAKE from HELL. THE beast of Satan sat down and made up some recipe to punish the ill gotten and torture ALL. and this 12, YES 12 layer cake is IT!

phuk it was GOOD! i'll torture myself AGAIN!

Merry Christmas Everyone. Hope it is the BEST!
Now, Go Play.

Well I was all upset before with all the chest pains and going ons, but now. oh great, BACK PAIN is back! I have been in a little bit of pain for almost 2 weeks now so I completely stopped working out which is what I do at the onsite of any back pain. After two surgeries I do not risk it, I do not do anything that could possible hurt my back, I just all around try to be careful and workout using proper form ALWAYS. Who knows what I did, came home yesterday made a cheesecake for Bobby to take to work and some double chocolate cookies for each of us to take, made dinner and then went to bed. I felt fine for the first half of all that which was like 3 hours of cooking, then I had to let to cookies cool and dip them in ganache. That is when last night I thought WOW, maybe this pain isn't going away so fast. I woke this morning HOWLING in pain. It took me 20 minutes to shower and 20 minutes to get dressed. I have never moved so SLOW in all my life. I had planned to just go in, take my cookies do a lil work and leave by 9 after my boss got in, but I just did not want to GET UP. It was just to difficult to move around. Everyone went out to lunch but again, i just did not want to get out of my chair. I am supposed to be baking something now for tomorrow but not sure I can do it. I just went to bed bath & beyond and bought a clearenced stool to sit on, it is just right for the counter top and stove. so if that helps i'll pursue my cooking endevours. If not i'll cry to my Mommy. I am currently on 3 different prescription pain pills, and about 8 ibuprofen and NOTHING, it is doing nothing for me. I think i'll take a short nap and see how I feel around 5 or so.

I hope everything is ok by tomorrow, I do not like missing work.

(this is from yesterday, and I am feeling a bit better since this late afternoon.

Names

We are so still up in the air about names, we have far more boy names chosen that girl and we keep saying we are going to work on that but cannot think of any we both like. I for some reason do not like the older more traditional names i.e. Theresa, Eleanor, Pam.. Matt, Douglas, Joe (no offense to anyone with those names. They are nice but not for me). I don't want any of the wild black folk names made up from things I pass on the street or see on TV, Mobil, citibank, Ford, Dupont, walmartacus. We liked Xander for a boy at first but now we like (choose your spelling of it) jayden, jaiden... Our friends Chuck and Jim's youngest son is named that but we told them that will not change our mind. We have like 2 girl names and none we are thrilled about. I did tell Bobby if it is a boy I want to give him both of our middle names has his middle name, since we will not be hyphynating the the last name we can the middle. I had thought about making the middle name Bobby's last name but it just doesnt' ring right. You know like the Kennedy's. All the boys middle name was Fitzgerald from Ruth's maiden name. Which I thought was so cool to honor the mother. I think the whole name thing is so important, You don't want your kid being made fun of nor do you want it to be one of those things Lewis Black talks about in one of his acts about a case working after the show telling him she met a couple with kid whose name was pronounce Ashol`e but it was spelled Asshole, then there was Shited oh yeah, spelled shithead and there was one from New Jersey and it was Abcde. WOW. what the heck is the world coming too. I am thinking of going for dribble or something like that. Maybe something with some snap, like Whip

That Whole Paint Thing

Ok, I have to tell this. After the whole paint explosion I did not go into the room to see what the paint looked like. Well I finally went in there yesterday (I cannot wait to take some pics and post them but the room is in shambles now plus I'm doing the floors next week), Bobby kept saying he liked the way it turned out So again I was keeping an open mind and thinking well this probably is going to turn out for the better so be happy, he did A LOT of work in there. So I went in yesterday, looked up was not quite getting what I was seeing so I opened the blinds STILL was not getting it, turned on the light in the room and STILL me no get. Here is what I am not getting. The ceiling used to be a flat white paint. Now! it looks like a satin finish white paint. He swears there is some high light of green in the paint. Today I have gone in there about 5 times during different points of the day to figure WHERE this green hue is. No where so far. I closed the blinds turned on lights only, nope not seeing. It. Must be me.

On another topic I know, YES KNOW, I am going to be in trouble for this one but, oh well. He wants to take the boys to petsmart and take pictures and then make them into holiday cards. I HATE pictures, I detest taking pictures (with me in them I mean) and he knows that. I told him I KNOW when the baby comes I am not going to have any kind of a choice with family photos and that kind of stuff so I'm taking advantage whilst I can. He is not happy.

We start decorating the house for Christmas today, I'll post some pics, this is one of my FAVORITE things to do. I wish I had some before and after pics of the house before we did all the changes, I could post those too! I'll have to look around. more.

Have a good Day,
G....

One of those days

Well yesterday Sunday 11/30 was one of those days I just felt like I was going to totally lose it (I did not totally lose it but about 4o%). We chose paint for the nursery about 6 months ago and were sticking to our guns to not change what we planned . I really did not want to do a pink or blue theme or any variation of that, considering we do not know what we might be getting and then we would have to wait until after we got the baby (yes no point of painting when you match, people seem to unmatch there a lot!) So we chose this seafoam green type color and then the ceiling was going to be mist yellow, it is a very light yellow that almost looks white but we figured it added more depth to the look we were making. Well after we chose those two colors Bobby decided he wanted to do the same theme he has done in EVERY ROOM in the house. One color on 2 walls and another on the other 2 adjoining walls. That was fine for our room then it went into the family room and dining room then the living room, Now the nursery too. SO fine, I gave in to that. Well he went to go get paint Friday afternoon, calls my cell and says he is choosing different colors, I said NO we agreed and that is not fair you think you can do that (yes he does this kind of thing a lot and it causes fights A LOT). So he left the color pallette at home I got home from the gym looked at it, did not like it much but KNEW just KNEW that we would go around in a circle and NEVER get anything done, so, I agreed to it. He started prepping that Friday night and finished the 2 colors on Saturday night. We were preparing dinner and I said to him whenyou get the paint for the ceiling, PLEASE do not do that again, stick to the original paint or I don't think the room will look like what we want. He agreed and said he would stick to it. FAMOUS LAST WORDS. I left for the gym around noon, saw the color pallette for the mist yellow and thought, hmm maybe i'll just go pick it up for him (he was at the dog park with the boys so I was only doing it thinking I was helping) well I decided against it, I had to run 3 errands before the gym and get back home by 3 to start cooking my turkey, yeah we had a turkey dinner Sunday night. Low and behold, once again I walk into the door from the gym, he has this grave look on his face and goes "I think I messed up" I'm thinking he lost his wallet, he pissed someone off and they were after him, GOD smote him..... so I keep walking in with groceries in hand and he tells me, he changed the colors cause he wanted to make it better. I just got pissed I said we discussed this last night, and still you do not feel you have to call and ask me anything. It was a lot worse from there so I Won't right any repeat any of that.

I would not do that, if we had a plan or a budget or something we are suppose to stick to I will TRY, try to follow it. I have been trying so hard not to shop and buy things I like, yes I like have new towels, comforters, sheets and none of the cheap variety, the GOOD stuff. You know, I go and find $200 sheets but for like 50 bucks, or I go to Marshalls or TJ Maxx home store and get good deals on stuff. I stopped all that when we said we have to stick to this plan to save money. He didn't understand in the argument where I was coming from, how if he says lets do this I will at least try and stick to what he wants to do, he on the other chooses what he wants to do and does it. He doesn't spend a lot of money on things mainly because I buy 95% of all his clothing/shoes/basics. I do all the grocery shopping, change all the linens on beds, wash all the linens and towels so I notice when those things are worn and get new ones. He would use the same sheets forever. When We met he had 2 sets for crap sacks.

Ok, I am done blowing off steam. Maybe now I can be less mad at him till I go buy the flooring for the room, maybe I can find flooring with diamond chips in it and that would upset him i'm sure.

Another Thanksgiving

Well another Thanksgiving holiday just passed and no one was killed in the family. It's been so long since I have blogged on here. I get so busy with my "other" blog that I never get over here to post anything.

The whole adoption thing is moving along well, Ok, well enough. We are finalizing our Birth Mother letter and luckily someone B works with has offered to make the letter for us. Our friend Chuck said he had a dream we adopted just before Christmas (I don't want that) I can wait at this point till mid Feb. Unless we match and she's only like 3 months in. That is not so shabby. I can handle that.

I am gonna try and update a tad bit more, plus share some good recipes. People need to cook more and stop eating out. Know what I mean.
Gregg...

Still Annoyed at Everything

Well it's been an annoying past few months. I am so sick and tired of work right now. QA is being treated like shit and
I am tired of dealing with it. We have been moved in with support as our new dept and out of dev, but we still sit in the Dev room. The dev guys kinda act a little different now and our old boss totally acts different. I hate this, its like we aren't even important to the company.

In other news. The adoption thing is really starting to piss me OFF. They were suppose to have our paperwork in like 4 weeks ago but we found it they still have not sent it in nor have they given us a reason why. I think some of the references have not sent their paperwork in. But hey, so what, it's not like family and friends are going to say anything bad about you, I wouldn't think. This is stressful and I am tired of it. I want to at least be on the books at the agency. I thought by end of August we would be but it' s looking more like end of September or October.

Other than that, nothings fine. Everything else sucks too, but that is ok. I can still be a happy camper.

The Facts Stir Around

Lately I have been getting agitated by the alarming trends in gay/lesbian opposition to things like marriage and adoption. I have tried to logically figure out how an argument could come out of that. The Divorce rate right now is at 50%, that is an unprecedented number and believable to most who hear it. I cannot believe friends, family members, acquaintances and even strangers talking about their divorce. Usually only after a few years of marriage even. Then the ones that stayed in marriages for 1. the kids, 2. what could they do 3. it was expected 4. I'd be alone 5. I'll never find anyone else so why leave 6. society will look down on me (not so much these days) 7. I'm sure we can make it work 8. I'm not going to let them win by giving them (the other half) a divorce 9. I was never in love, just wanted marriage 10. Gay/Lesbian.

WTF. Those are actually things i've been told before. How can Gays ruin marriage for anyone when people seem to ruin it for themselves. If So many did not worry what the other person was doing they'd probably have a better chance
or wrangling some happiness for themselves. how do you do that, the blame game I mean. Even being gay I could never say I am unhappy because all those breeders (just teasing) are mean to me. I can always stand up for myself and get through any hardship that comes my way. I can't blame anyone else for my predicaments besides myself. My choices. If I don't like straights being married then I guess I won't marry someone of the opposite sex, would I. And that would be that.

Come On People. Give a humanity a chance. Take all the energy used for hatred and bigotry and use it for something worth while. like fighting these high gas prices, corruption in government, unemployment, sending American jobs overseas, stupidity, education... There is a list of things we could all expend more energy on, even those that aren't bigoted or racist or prejudiced.

And no, I won't be preaching love love love, holding hands and hugging. I can do without that crap.

HA, take care.

The "NOT" Heart Attack

I will have to go into further detail someday on this story but it was a hoot. was having some chest pain
went to the Doctor to make sure it was nothing. I kept saying, "it's just stress I am sure it is just stress". With the
adoption going on and tons of things at work and just basic every day survival I just knew gut instinct that it was stress.

Well after getting hauled to the emergency room and made to stay in ER recovery for at least 24 hours I sill do not know
if I was right or not. Nothing, zip, nadda. No information was passed on what so ever and at this POINT. I just do not care. I was so stressed because they kept saying it might be a mild heartattack that I would cause my blood pressure to
sky rocket. Now that I have just stopped caring... It is back to normal, I am back to the gym and I do have occasional burst of pain in the chest but they kept saying "wow, you are one of the healhtiest people we've seen in ages.

So I'll continue my life. I was only drinking on Friday and Saturday night (but like 3 or 4 strong drinks) and maybe wine on Sunday's with dinner. I have given that up. Gone back to doing more cardio. I had stopped for a while because it tired me out and caused my back to hurt but I just do not care anymore. I am certainly not going to let a heart problem take me down.

No Heartattacks here BABY

Can you believe I was hospitalized last Tuesday because my Dr. thought I was having a mild heart attack? Really sucks, had to stay in the hospital for 24 hours for observation and they still never found anything out. When I left they said I was one of the healthiest people they seen in ages. but, B U T could not explain my chest pains. Which was causing my blood pressure to sky rocket and my pulse to just go out of control every so many minutes. I would go from 70 beats to 90 in seconds just lying in bed doing nothing. they alarm would go off they'd come running in the room. After a few times of that they stopped running in. well until that one time I dropped dramatically.

I have to admit I was so worried and scared. Since I have been back home I just do not feel the same. My pulse at resting is around 75 - 88 which it used to be like 67 - 75. I have this constant burning in my chest and I tire out very quickly. After being awake for a couple of hours I am ready for a nap. This is NOT going to work out well with work I am sure.

Oh well. I'm just going to keep working out and trying to stay healthy and in shape. hopefully that will help in the long run.

how did I forget to post this.

This Takes Too Long

I cannot believe how long this darn adoption process takes. We aren't even at a part where a birth mother can choose us. We still need to do the homestudy and our birth mother letter has not been approved yet. Plus we need to finish our website....
work work work
it seems never ending and I just want a BABY now. I wonder how people that have been waiting for years get through it. I cannot even handle this wait. And it not really a wait we just need to finish our business and then we can be on the books and hopefully matched fast.

Oh Well.

Crap I am Lazy

Well for the past 4 months have been working on and prepping up the reality and the beginning of us... Adopting. We we have started everything up, we still have quite a ways to go, we are only in the very infancy phase of this thing so may not see a child before 09, but not necessarily, if we get everything done by mid summer we could match up before end of year.

I will post more on this. I actually find it extremely exciting, although tiring. There is so much involved in this.

take care all

G....