Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Too Much To Ponder

Ok, in the middle of the night I woke with tons of stuff on my mind, and the flu kicking my ass. What's that all about?

I think something is realy wrong with me, no, not mentally. Thats a given. the last few months I think about sex ALL the time. I mean 38 isn't the end of the world and some men stay horny all their life but what i'm having is just obnoxious grossness. I think I want to have sex with everyone (well almost everyone) I come into contact with. I see girls that drive me wild, and guys that make me so damn horny, it's not only embarrissing to get caught staring at some chick, but to have her later catch you checking out her boyfriend and licking you lips... well that must have thrown her off.

Yesterday at the gym this one girl was wearing these super tight suede pants, oh man was she ever hot looking in them, I wanted to throw her on top of one of the machines and start licking her like candy. Five minutes after that two boys passed by and I wanted to drag them into the locker room and show them a thing or two. The whole day there was the same, and even driving home was bad. I saw a lady that must have been 60 and wanted to do it with her too. Must be some kind of emotional turmoil from being stuck in this house since the surgery. Well tomorrow i'm going out and we'll see what comes of that. The week before on wednesday I went out to BS West (On wednesday it 2 for 1 so all the college kids pack the place) I was hit on by about 4 guys, kept playing with these two chicks breast, and one I really wanted to get into her pants. Like I say, emotional turmoil. But, yes that inevitable but. I'm in my committed relationship and that keeps me steady. Well no it really doesn't. If I hadn't put on this weight since the surgery and I felt like this, i'd be out poppin every thing that walked into my web. I just feel like i'm at the none caring point, who gets that way? can't just be me. I want everything I want and a whole heck of a lot more. For the past 15 years it's been others and everyone else, and work, committment and any other socio neurotic problem that can fall on your shoulders to heep more crap on your hump. blah blah blah. i'm sick of it, and of whinning.

Think i'll go bake some cookies to go with that Ice Bream I made last night. Them maybe i'll work on a poem. something naughty. Maybe i'll just add one of my old ones.

hmm, ponder, ponder, ponder.